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Dan | |
|---|---|
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| Dan in 1935 | |
| Title | Führer of Skate |
| Gender | Demisexual |
| Species | Dandroid |
| Location | Flavortown |
Dan (born 11 September 2001) is an astral being and current member of the E-Hang. Dan has the ability to project himself into phantom form to take control of human bodies, becoming many historical figures including Adolf Hitler, Kim Jong-Un, and Professional Vert Skateboarder Tony Hawk. Dan makes posts through time and space with his time-traveling skateboard "Seth Rogan".
Biography[]
Origins[]
During the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 the Kerosene-type jet fuel powering the airplane that crashed into the North tower (piloted by soon-to-be E-Hang member Ungrateful Dead), fused with the carbon atoms inside the steel beams of the building created a chemical reaction, creating a small supernova. Though the building was destroyed in the process, this gave birth to an astral being known as Dan. Confused by the havoc being caused around him, Dan flew across the planet in fear looking for somewhere to hide. This led him to Professional Vert Skateboarder Tony Hawk.
Crazed by fear, Dan flew directly into Professional Vert Skateboarder Tony Hawk's body, unknowingly taking control of it. This is the main body that Dan has used ever since, as he considers it the best for his needs.
Time-Travel[]
During his travels, Dan came across Jay, the powerful Dank Wizard. Jay offered Dan the power to travel through time and space, on the condition that he used this power only to make the hottest of posts and dankest of memes. Dan accepted, and with the mightiest of tokes from Jay's vape pen, he blew a cloud of smoke that was absorbed by the skateboard that Dan was carrying (formerly owned by Professional Vert Skateboarder Tony Hawk) and made it sentient, giving it the personality of Seth Rogan.
Kim Jong-Un[]
Dan's first "hot post" was traveling into the future year of 2012, where he would take control of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un and eventually declare war with the United States. No one liked this posts. In fact, it was probably his worst post of all time, so we just try to forget about it.
Journey to the E-Hang[]
After his failure of a first post, Dan sought more power to make his hot posts. Dan searched for Jay once more, but only found a message from him that read "Travel west. It is there you will find the memes you seek." before vanishing into a cloud of weed smoke.
Dan journeyed west, and eventually came to the gates of the E-Hang. However the gates would not open for him, as his posts were not shitty enough. Though he had only heard legends of the mysterious Gay Wizard Ungrateful Dead, he called upon him to lend him the power to open the gates. After receiving no response, Dan pulled out his flute and begun playing one of those gay anime songs that Justin probably likes because he's a massive faggot.
The Gay Wizard rose up from the depths of the underworld in a single bolt of black lightning, demanding a reason for his summoning. When Dan explained his situation, the wizard laughed in pity. As a sign of mockery, Ungrateful Dead challenged Dan to a shitposting duel. The battle was over in minutes, and in the end Ungrateful Dead defeated Dan. However he saw the potential he had locked inside him. He told him to venture north, and train with the other posters. He also gave him a book, with the cover simply reading 'The Giant Bomb.'
The Venture North[]
Dan traveled north, as the Gay Wizard Ungrateful Dead instructed him. During his travels, he studied the book that he received. He began to follow the traditions written in the holy texts, and started to feel his posts becoming more enlightened. He finally reached his destination, the lands of VGBoxArt.com.
It is here that Dan practiced his posts. During his training, he met many other shitposters that would soon become E-Hang members as well. It is there he also met his rival, Sagar. He died from aids or something though so we'll just write him out of the story.
On the tenth month, Dan became confident in his abilities, and decided to venture back south to the gates of E-Hang. Once he arrived, he meditated for the final two months before Ungrateful Dead returned.
The Final Confrontation[]
After the final two months has passed, Ungrateful Dead appeared once more from the ground. Almost instantly, he could sense the power that Dan now posessed. He could see that Dan was a different poster entirely, and laughed in excitement for their duel.
The two shitposters prepared themselves, and proceeded to lunge at eachother like another stupid anime scene. The battle went on for months until they both ran out of energy. The duel was deemed a tie, and Dan was formally accepted as a new member of the E-Hang.
Trivia[]
- Dan is notorious for making some of the absolute worst posts in the E-Hang.
- Anime is Dan's trigger.
- Like the other members of the E-Hang, Dan has a theme song. Dan's theme song is I no she wants me back by R..A..E..D.
- Dan starred in the 1993 movie "The Skateboard Kid"